march, closer to the lion's end of the scale than the lamb's. the
words come over my headphones for what may very well be the three-
hundredth time: "some of them smile and it's phony...some of them
smile and it's not." mostly, these days, the former seems to be true.
it's hard to reconcile yourself to living for the future, to living
for organic farming in ireland this summer and massage therapy school in the
fall. it's hard to reconcile yourself to working 44-hour weeks to dig
yourself out of debt when there's nothing but books to look forward
to at the end of the day. still, i persist. books are enough...books
are fine substitutes for friends when the latter can't be found on
one's home turf. "watch the ship hold to its course like an act of
devotion...and me, i'm lost at sea, going through the motions."
goddamn american music club for always hitting the nail on the head.